Soyboy! (ex_joshuaorr865) wrote in diamond_souls,

So... yeah.

I'm new here. FtM, just accepting it last night but it's been a... a plague since I was young. Before I was young, when I was tiny, it wasn't so much. I was just a little kid.

I wish I could go back to that.

So... I'm here now. I wasn't planning on chosing a masculine name but my given one doesn't feel right. Slept on it, had a dream, got Joshua. Long story short.

Long story long, the dream was thus: I was lost in a snowstorm. I remember that I was not particularly afraid, or cold. I was wearing a plain black sweater or sweatshirt, white jeans and hiking boots. My best friend was searching for me; he was screaming for me, but he was calling the name, "Joshua." I kept trying to respond, but I couldn't speak.

My best friend doesn't know about this. I'm terrified to tell him. Nor does my boyfriend. My fear of telling b/f is simply that he's not very tolerant, and this would be a death sentence to us. Why I'm so scared to tell my friend, though, I don't know. He's the most open-minded, loving, caring person I know. He would never condemn or judge me... but... I can't help feeling our friendship would change. Dramatically.

So I'm here. That's... just about all, folks. For now at least. Hiya. *waves*
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